The 2010 Grammy's & Stephanie Tanner

People ask me from time to time if I miss working in the music business. Yes and no. Yes, because I loved finding new artists, pitching their music for TV and Movie use, and loved the feeling of hearing "that" song; the one that ends up on the radio and on every episode of Grey's Anatomy. However, no, I don't miss working in music for one reason. People like Taylor Swift. Sure, she's a very talented songwriter and she NEEDS to mention on every occasion that she's "so happy" her label let her write all the songs on her record, but that's what music publishing is. She should be writing songs for other artists, because that performance at last nights Grammy's, with the iconic Stevie Nicks was embarassing. My cat can even hit those notes, simply from sneezing; upper respiratory issues and all (shout out to Miss Fat Booty, holla.) Stevie was looking at her, confused, but still offering to help carry the rest of the song, only to be drowned out by Swift's continuous melodic murdering of her bubble gum pop songs that should have simply stayed in the wrapper.

Which brings me to the epiphany I had last night. Taylor Swift is like Stephanie Tanner from Full House, and I HATED Stephanie Tanner. She was annoying, had HUGE bucked teeth, always bothered Uncle Jesse, and she never brought anything to the table except for constant whining and a prissy attitude. Now, Taylor Swift. Her performance and speeches are always (especially last night) super annoying. She's awkwardly tall, blonde, and skinny. Her teeth could stop traffic, and she just plain talks too much. In essence, Kanye West is like Danny Tanner. Kanye tried to shut Taylor up because she wasn't worthy of winning Best Video at the VMA's. Danny Tanner did his best to shut Stephanie up through powerful parenting, however she never listened. She just acted out and stormed around the house like she owned the place. The Staples Center last night w/ Swift....sound familiar?

John Stamos should play drums for Taylor, the Olsen Twins should sing backup, and Dave Coulier should bring his puppet, Mr. Woodchuck out on stage to do backup harmonies. That's basically how I felt after watching Taylor last night.

A few years ago Stephanie Tanner got caught smoking meth, and she wasn't even in the music biz. You see where this is going...watch out Swift.

Sam Adams: Noble Pils

As previously mentioned, I'm now a Masshole. I transplanted from NY at the end of '09 and moved up to Boston. So, in accordance with the "wicked" accent of the locals, the horrible driving and pedestrian etiquette, and the inane ability to turn everything into "Yankees Suck," I have begun to drink the local nectar commonly known to the laymen as Samuel Adams beeahs. However, this past friday night I had a head on collision with the newest take on their Seasonal Spring Ale, which took over for the White Ale. His name is Noble Pils, and he is indeed Noble. The taste was tremendous; very rich and robust. However, I think Sam is mixing some hallucinogens into the brewing process. The alcohol % is only 4.9%, which means something is going on behind the scenes to make it so powerful. On the neck of the bottle it reads:

“Samuel Adams Noble Pils is one of the only brews made with all five Noble hops from the world’s growing regions. Its bright flavor and lively, citrus hop character reminds us that the warm days of spring are just a few weeks away.”

Allow me to rephrase:
"Samuel Adams Noble Pils is one of the only legal brews made with all five Noble hops, 7 different types of Woodstock grade hallucinogens, 3 car tires, and a lemon, all from the world's hippy regions. Its bright flavor, ability to turn a charity event into a Grateful Dead concert, and citrus hip hop character reminds us that we shouldn't have had 6 of them on an empty stomach, and that spring isn't quite here yet."

I recommend this beer, definitely, however...eat something beforehand. Or, just wear a batting helmet, a la the below post recommending Full Moon as a beverage of choice. The two are actually very similar in comparison. Too many Noble Pils' and you're pretty much guaranteed to Full Moon the entire bar...cheers.

Marvin Gaye. Enough Said.

OK. So since I've been a little drummer boy and following different types of music for the past 29 years, I've always found the various National Anthem performances to be either intriguing, embarrassing, or just plain weird. There are few that stick out in my head in a good way. In a bad way, you can't forget Jordin Sparks lip-syncing at the Super Bowl two years ago, or Whitney Houston a few years ago, profusely sweating like Patrick Ewing on the foul line, looking like she may or may not have slept the night before. BUT, I will tell you one that sticks out in my mind forever, cheesy background music and all...Mr. Marvin Gaye at the 1983 All Star NBA game. I doubt I truly remember seeing it, but I truly remember doubting there is a better version of our countries theme song. Thanks to Scott Jacoby for reminding me of this a few years ago. (www.scojac.com shameless plug).

Only Marvin could 1) cut up the arrangement into a different time signature, 2) have a 1980 Casio keyboard demo beat in the background and 3) have girls screaming, 7' professional hoops player nodding, and folks acting like they bought tix to Showtime at the Apollo, all while singing the National Anthem. Pure genius.

Blue Moon : Full Moon

Sure, living in Boston and drinking a Belgian beer is basically like living in Boston and being Irish....but, with that said, I'm Irish and enjoy Belgian beers. Blue Moon is tasty, anyway you take it. Orange slice, Lemon Slice, Batting Helmet... Either way. Full Moon, their winter take on seasonal beers is fantastic. If you like tasty, dark beers that remind you of the dead of winter and burning firewood, here you go. However, have too many of these and you'll forget the fire is burning and things might get a little hot. Literally. Check it out.

Check It

Citizen Cope

The guy is fresh, what can I say. The Clarence Greenwood Recordings caught my attention, especially those flashy Saturn commercials with "Sons Gonna Rise" as the tune in the background, but he keeps going. The new single "Healing Hands" encapsulates what it truly means to incorporate melodic rhyming with legitimaly tight grooves. He knows his sh*t. Period.