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People ask me from time to time if I miss working in the music business. Yes and no. Yes, because I loved finding new artists, pitching their music for TV and Movie use, and loved the feeling of hearing "that" song; the one that ends up on the radio and on every episode of Grey's Anatomy. However, no, I don't miss working in music for one reason. People like Taylor Swift. Sure, she's a very talented songwriter and she NEEDS to mention on every occasion that she's "so happy" her label let her write all the songs on her record, but that's what music publishing is. She should be writing songs for other artists, because that performance at last nights Grammy's, with the iconic Stevie Nicks was embarassing. My cat can even hit those notes, simply from sneezing; upper respiratory issues and all (shout out to Miss Fat Booty, holla.) Stevie was looking at her, confused, but still offering to help carry the rest of the song, only to be drowned out by Swift's continuous melodic murdering of her bubble gum pop songs that should have simply stayed in the wrapper.
Which brings me to the epiphany I had last night. Taylor Swift is like Stephanie Tanner from Full House, and I HATED Stephanie Tanner. She was annoying, had HUGE bucked teeth, always bothered Uncle Jesse, and she never brought anything to the table except for constant whining and a prissy attitude. Now, Taylor Swift. Her performance and speeches are always (especially last night) super annoying. She's awkwardly tall, blonde, and skinny. Her teeth could stop traffic, and she just plain talks too much. In essence, Kanye West is like Danny Tanner. Kanye tried to shut Taylor up because she wasn't worthy of winning Best Video at the VMA's. Danny Tanner did his best to shut Stephanie up through powerful parenting, however she never listened. She just acted out and stormed around the house like she owned the place. The Staples Center last night w/ Swift....sound familiar?
John Stamos should play drums for Taylor, the Olsen Twins should sing backup, and Dave Coulier should bring his puppet, Mr. Woodchuck out on stage to do backup harmonies. That's basically how I felt after watching Taylor last night.
A few years ago Stephanie Tanner got caught smoking meth, and she wasn't even in the music biz. You see where this is going...watch out Swift.
