Sunday, February 28, 2010

Jungleland: The Bridge

The man is a genius. 4:40 into this live "Jungleland" from 1975, Bruce is able to close his eyes and conduct his E Street Band (Orchestra) into one of the best instrumental bridges written in any rock song...ever. The bridge in music is my favorite part; it does exactly what it sounds like. You travel and then you get to a bridge. James Brown said it best in "Sex Machine" numerous times, by belting "take me to the bridge, take me to the bridge!" This is when a song really opens up and brings you into a new place, and then right back to solid land. "Jungleland's" bridge sounds a bit like Pink Floyd, and that is a huge compliment. It's mellow, chopped down into a slower time signature, and simply allows "The Big Man," Clarence Clemons to show off his tenor sax chops and drive you safely across the bridge. Thanks to Dan Noschese (shout out to your 30th birthday party last night, tasty Budweisers all around) for sending this over.

Sit back and enjoy The Boss.

Cheers.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

R.I.P. Teddy Pendergrass: "Love T.K.O."

Does it get much better than this? Smooth is the only word that comes to mind. We unfortunately lost Teddy last month...here's his best jam in my mind. Cheers.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Glen Hansard: "Say It To Me Now"

Glen Hansard's emotion while he sings will make ANYONE stop in the middle of the street and watch. For those that don't know who he is, he's the lead singer of an Irish band called "The Frames," and is most recently part of "The Swell Season" with his co-star, Marketa Irglova, from "Once"...my favorite movie. "Once" is about music, love, and everything in between (even though there isn't much in between). It's perhaps the most perfect depiction of what it's like to be a singer/ songwriter; living day to day with your songs as your motivation and your girl as your engine. These two met on the set of the movie and are now married, playing together in "The Swell Season" and touring around the nation. "Once" is a beautiful story...check it out asap. The soundtrack will knock your pants, skirt, kilt off.

Speaking of the soundtrack, the movie opens with Glen standing in the middle of an empty street in Dublin, very late at night. It's just him, his guitar (with multiple holes in it) and his voice. No mic, no amp, no listeners, no anything; the true epitome of what a true music lover plays music for...the music, not the fans. Due to copyright restrictions, I can't play the movie version here, but below is a live version of "Say It To Me Now," the opening tune from "Once." This was recorded at a screening of the movie up in Canada. If you don't get chills 1:10 into this video, well, then you should go to the doctor. I remember seeing this opening performance on the movie and forgetting to breath for about 2 1/2 minutes; totally in shock and awe at the level of emotion one man can emit by simply standing up with a beaten guitar and just his voice. I'm convinced that this movie is called "Once" because we've all been looking to relate, react, feel a certain way by watching and listening to music. Just this "Once" we're truly shown why we've been looking to feel this way. Glen shows it all; heart on his sleeve, and eyes closed. And, you can't just watch it "Once." I've seen the movie at least 6 times.

Cheers.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Rocky Votolato: "Red River"

This guy is true. This guy is real. This guy has rasp. If any of ya'll are looking for the best record to put on while cleaning the house, cooking dinner, talking on the phone, breathing...check this one out. Rocky Votolato is a Texan, born and raised in Dallas (Cowboys suck, Go Giants). I first heard him in about 2004 while working at The Harry Fox Agency handling his publishing companies' royalties, and I was hooked ever since. He has this storytelling vibe that truly makes him one of a kind. It isn't typical singer / songwriter stuff though. He catches you like Bruce, sings a bit like Stephen Kellogg, has songwriting skills like Van Morrison, but there's something to it that's different. I can't put my finger on it, but it might have something to do with him being labeled "Alt-Country" in most record stores. You'll find yourself totally immersed in a beautiful acoustic tune, and then the next tune will get your feet tapping and your spirits up; wanting to grab a bottle of Jack and a Winston. His new record "True Devotion" just came out 2 weeks ago. Check out the below track called "Red River." Absolutely awesome tune and really dig the vocals. It reminds me a bit of Bob Seger, in a higher key.

Cheers.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Not Sure What To Say Here....Just Watch

So I bet a bunch, if not all of you, are waiting for me to write some introspective piece about the human voice and how it's all we really need to make a song into a piece of legitimate art. How the art of simply vocalizing is far more powerful than singing actual lyrics; how our voice is the true form of our contemplative self or something. Challenge. Nothing could be further from the truth in 99% of cases. Unless you're Bobby McFerrin, please, STOP "scatting"...especially if you're a creepy Russian in a late 70s/ early 80's American Bandstand/ Soul Train looking performance filmed in the heart of Communist Russia. All this dude does is say "la la" and "ya ya" awkwardly while popping in and out of the camera shot. This was disturbing and actually made me debate changing my entire perspective on music. Then again, this guy's perspective on music is to sound as close as possible to a russian Tickle Me Elmo doll after drinking too many Red Bulls while getting Botox, so I think I'm alright. Look at those cheeks. It's like Joan Rivers' twin. Hold your loved one(s) after this.

Cheers.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Erik Hassle : "Hurtful"

If this song isn't the #1 selling single on iTunes by May, I'll give you all $20. Seriously.

Sweden is back. Here's Erik Hassle w/ "Hurtful." Talk to me about vocal range! Wow. Ironically enough, as the US music scene is way behind Europe, this song has already been at the top of the charts in Sweden for the past year. Wake up America. Damn.
Cheers.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

David Sides : "Halo" (Beyonce)

Do I still need to praise the piano? I mean, seriously. Let's just let David Sides show you what I've been talking about this whole time. Music is made up of two cornerstones...the melody (vocals, the part we all hum to) and the rhythm (background-make-my-feet-move-stuff). Together, these cornerstones support the building structure which we all call the "song." I have an idea, why don't you play both the rhythm and melody at the same time and I'll shut up and go have a beer. Thanks, David Sides.

This guy has like 100 videos on YouTube, covering everything from Coldplay to Kanye...interpretation at it's finest. Reminds me of Stevie Ray Vaughan's version of Jimi Hendrix' "Little Wing." No need to sing when the instrument does it for you.

Cheers.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Ray Lamontagne: "Crazy" (Gnarls Barkley)

Ok, so check it out. Ray Lamontagne. Born and raised up in Nashua, NH...actually not too far from where I write this, on a snowy Tuesday in Boston. The dude used to work at a paper mill, or shoe factory or something and absolutely hated his life. He couldn't play an instrument, but one morning he woke up to Stephen Stills "Treetop Flyer" and decided from that moment forward that he wanted to be a musician. 30 something years and after connecting for 1 brief moment to a song recorded 30 years ago...he changed his life forever. Ray quit his job and started writing songs.

He then released "Trouble," his debut record, which was on rotation at 114 Grandview Ave for some time and I believe still is. The man is a genius. Listen to the rasp and smokey tone of this voice, covering Gnarls Barkley's "Crazy," the #1 song in 2006 at the BET Awards. THE BET AWARDS! Gotta love the interpretation. Who would have thought New Hampshire was so Urban.

Cheers,

Monday, February 15, 2010

Tyler Hilton : "Use Somebody" cover (Kings of Leon)

Piano is the most pure sounding, spine chilling, hair-stand-up-on-arm elements of music, outside that of our natural voice of course. However, the two are basically identical if you look closely. If you open up the top of a piano you'll see strings and these felt looking "hammer" things that are triggered whenever you hit a black or white key. That's really all it is. The strings are like our vocal chords and the felt triggers the note we're singing.

Put these two together and you can make any pop song sound like a true ballad. Tyler Hilton shows this perfectly with his mellow cover of "Use Somebody" by Kings of Leon. Musicians out there take note...stop using so many effects on your instruments and just play the damn thing. There's a reason why the instrument was born before the effect pedal and the delay moduler. Chicken or egg?

Cheers.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Leinenkugel's Sunset Wheat


Now these things are tasty. Not going too in depth on this one since my head hurts a bit, but check it out. When it's 14 degrees outside, you've been playing Golden Tee since 2pm, you just finished candlepin bowling with good friends and you're looking for a tasty treat to sip on, well here you go. Leinenkugel's Sunset Wheat. Lighter than Blue Moon and more refreshing than Hoegaarden, Leinenkugel is the way to go. Spring was in the air last night my friends, and after a few of these so was TLC Waterfalls at Farragut House karaoke. Drink Sunset Wheat beer and you sound amazing at Karaoke. Trust me.

Cheers.

Friday, February 12, 2010

The Script : "We Cry"

You don't need instruments to play music. You don't need top of the line amps, high end vocal filters, or even a single drum to make a cool sound. Check out the below. This band is awesome. "The Script" are from Dublin and blend a cool acoustic rock undertone with R&B/ Hip Hop to make something quite unique. Vocally most comparable to Jason Mraz or Citizen Cope, these guys take the beautiful Irish percussive approach to music, but add an urban flare that was born from their love for American hip hop.

This track goes out to Brandon Carney, one of my best buds. We used to jam all the time in college and in NYC, then he moved out west. I think you'll truly dig this tune, Brando. 3 dudes, 1 guitar, and brushes on a table. That's all.

Cheers,

Thursday, February 11, 2010

José González: Simple. Perfect.

Not much needs to be said about a singer/ songwriter by the name of José González who hails from Sweden. Why? Because of course the name José González immediately makes one think of Sweden...right? The son of two Chilean parents who migrated to Sweden in the mid 70's, José is the definition of a singer/ songwriter. In this cover of "Heartbeats" by The Knife, you truly see the art of musical interpretation in its finest sense. Some people cover songs and they drastically fail. Some sit in their apartment and cover Men at Work songs by candelight on a Saturday afternoon drinking Budweiser with sunglasses on (me). Some just have it down to a science. José is in this last "some," unless of course he drinks budweiser...

Classical guitar, nothing too crazy vocally, but a flawless performance. This was the song on Sony's Bravia commercial a few years back...the one with millions of bouncy balls going down a street in San Fran. Here you get José, his guitar, and perfection.

Who would have thought Sweden contributed more than Ikea and meatballs. I stand corrected. Cheers.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Needtobreathe : "Washed by The Water"

Short and sweet....

There's one thing I absolutely love about Christian music, or Gospel music as a whole for that matter and it's this. The vocal harmonies are the BEST you will ever hear, outside of the Beatles and The Beach Boys, who were neither Christian nor Gospel. Needtobreathe, a Christian rock group out of South Carolina is at the very top of my list of best songwriting and best vocals out of any group today. Listen to these guys, on Tulsa's 100.9 KXOJ radio show. Just 4 dudes, two guitars, absolutely untouched lead vocals by Bear Rinehart, backups on guitar and vocals by his brother Bo, Seth (bass) and Joe (drums) sitting in on harmonies, all in a radio studio belting the lyrics. This is one of my favorite performances of this song. Enjoy.

"Washed by the Water" by Needtobreath

Sunday, February 7, 2010

I Come From Down in the Valley...

My favorite thing about music is when you see things go full circle in the time it's taken you to "grow up." My father is a huge influence in my life and always has been. I remember being a kid and being audibly fed Neil Young records, Bruce Hornsby, Van Morrison, Cat Stevens; you name it. Scott and I were always surrounded by such amazing music, and I know it's played a HUGE role in our lives, mine especially. Perhaps the most influential artist that my dad ever played around the house was The Boss, Mr. Bruce Springsteen himself. Bruce had a way of connecting with you the second he spoke a word. From the screen door slamming to Roy Orbison singing for the lonely, Bruce is an icon; a man that is able to speak to any situation and somehow portray exactly what it feels like to be in it. My dad is my Bruce Springsteen, and he's showed me so much about life simply through his actions and especially through his passion for listening to The Boss. Life is a hard thing to teach, but with the help of a little music, the teaching handles itself.

In my house you were never told what you had to be when you were older. My parents were the most laid back, cool folks I've ever known. We laughed, we made jokes, we bbq'd, we watched ice pops fly out of the sky as if planes were dropping them for us, and most importantly we listened to really good music. Bruce Springsteen lived at my house. He lived in every speaker, vinyl record sleeve, compact disc, and cassette. His lyrics bounced off the mahogany walls of our living room, lived inside the rock speakers on the patio, and the voices of all those that sang his tunes at 114 Grandview on a daily basis. My dad was my Bruce Springsteen. My mom was my Max Weinberg (although a lot more attractive). My mom was the pulse behind the beat while my dad was the singer. She kept our feet moving and toes tapping at all times. Dad told us what it was like "Growing Up," at "The River," across the street from "Tenth Avenue Freezout." On any given summer day our back patio was the Stone Pony in Asbury Park, and we were all connected by the timeless storytelling of Bruce's lyrics and the unparalleled musicianship of the entire band.

I remember one day in the mid 90's, sitting in the living room with Scott and my dad. There's a live version of "The River" that chokes me up everytime I hear it, and it's because of this one day. I'll never forget Bruce's opening line, "how you doing out there tonight?" The crowd screams, and all he says is "that's good...that's good," as he knew that they were all ears and appreciative. My dad loved telling stories about his father and the various things he's learned from him, and we were always all ears. My grandfather was an amazing man, and he no doubt influenced my dad to be who he is today. In this 12 minute version of "The River," Bruce talks about how he and his father used to go at it all the time, fighting over almost anything. From his long hair to his loud Fender guitar, Bruce was never accepted by his dad. There's a line in the intro that we all relate to in our lives. "He would ask me what I thought I was doing with myself...and the worst thing about it is that I never could explain it to him."

My dad, Scott, and I sat in the living room in silence and listened. My dad probably had heard it 100+ times at this point, but his smile showed us that it felt like the first time. He was really connected to what Bruce was saying and I was too, Scott included. Bruce's dad goes on to say that he wants the Army to get a hold of him, to possibly create some guidance and direction in his life. Bruce then fails his physical after receiving his draft notice. Instead of his father being upset and lecturing him some more, his father simply says "that's good." In other words, he didn't truly want to put Bruce in danger by getting him "straightened out" in the Army. Maybe it was a scare tactic, but at the end of the day, he was his father. The crowd then screams after "that's good" and you get the feeling like Bruce was finally accepted by his father at that exact moment in time, EVERY time he sings the song.

I don't know why Scott and I connected so much with my dad that day. We were never told what to do, who to be, or where we should end up. We were always taught to be ourselves, enjoy being ourselves, and to lend a hand when needed and we will ALWAYS be his son. It's funny how Bruce stopped the spoken intro right after his father simply said "that's good." It's like he finally knew that his dad was on his side, even though he might not have shown it before. Scott, me, and my dad were all in this together, and I think this was the definitive moment in my life that I realized I wanted to be exactly like my father. We both got "it," even though we didn't even know what "it" is. I don't believe we ever know what "it" is, as we all have our own ideas and beliefs. I learned so much about my dad in that living room, and we didn't even say a word to eachother; Bruce said it all.

Music. No matter how you were born, raised, or taught, it will always bring people together. When it all comes back around is when you realize how truly special life is. Foy Vance covered "The River" on the BBC earlier this year, and it left my jaw on the floor. I felt like my father, when my father first heard Bruce Springsteen. I can listen to the words of Bruce through an artist of my generation, and still remember everything as though it's that one day in my living room. Below is the live Bruce recording, and the cover of "The River" by Foy Vance. Listen carefully to Bruce's opening and you'll know why I wrote this. Cheers.



Friday, February 5, 2010

"Land Down Under" w/ autotune- KB

Now. Yes, it's really possible to make voices match pitch perfect, even if you record something in one take. Here's the same track from below, the exact same version, but autotune added to the vocals. Kanye, Jamie Fox, and T-Pain make millions off of this one production filter. In all respect to my own ego, and not to say that I have such a bad voice, but it's funny how autotune can make vocals sound somewhat perfect (far from, but you get my point).

Gotta love technology...

"Land Down Under" - KB

A while back I was bored in my apartment out in Park Slope, Brooklyn and was messing around on Garage Band (shout out to the simplest, yet awesomest music program ever created, by Mac of course). It was either April or May of '08, if I remember correctly. About a week before said boredom I was up in Harlem (holla) at my buddy Ben's place, aptly nicknamed Benji, Ben Laden, or How You Ben?, and we were jamming acoustic guitars. For some reason we started playing a chord progression that reminded me a lot of "No Woman No Cry" meets "Crazy Game of Poker" by OAR, meet's "Land Down Under" by Men At Work. It was another one of those music moments; the one like "The Great Escape," but with a far less emotional and "I love you man" context to it. This was more like "wow, that was pretty cool man," while both our heads were staring straight up at the sky, screaming...."can't you hear, can't you hear that thunder. You betta run, you betta take cover!"

This song was then stuck in my head for a while, and that random day in Park Slope turned into a recording session. Instead of the birkenstock wearing, clove smoking, tree hugging, vegetarian version of the same tune we jammed earlier in the week, I decided that just a piano and the lyrics would do; kind of an Emo version if you will. Zero production, zero mixing, a midi keyboard, and one take. It's amazing how the context of a song changes when you take out all of the bells and whistles and just strip it down to the core; the original way it was written. Here's my take on "Land Down Under" by Men At Work. Thoughts are welcome (unless they're bad [joke]).

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Patrick Watson : Why I Love Music

Below I mentioned a few reasons why I missed working in the music business, and brought up a reason that I didn't miss it, at all. Taylor Swift, I still don't like you and that won't change. However, I feel I need to clear the air a bit. I LOVED working in music. I absolutely loved it. Since I was kid, music has been my right arm. From playing the drums at age 9 to working in the business for 8 years, I love everything about music. Everything. I loved hearing new bands, signing new bands, pitching new songs, and especially loved going to shows. If you've noticed a constant adjective within this post so far, it's love. That's what music is to me, it's love.

I never felt music like I truly did when I worked for Patrick Watson. I was taken under the wing of Superfrank Copsidas and Foye Johnson at Intrigue Music, snatched up from the William Morris Agency in 2003. These guys were big time to a somewhat recent college grad, and they still are today. Intrigue was James Brown's management company, and as befits the credo of being a member of the Brown family myself, I too had rhythm so I was convinced that James and I were related. That couldn't be farther from the truth, but it was a fun thought. Music was now a "professional" passion of mine, and I was about to embark on a truly amazing journey; a journey into the world of Music Publishing that will FOREVER stay engrained in my heart and soul.

In short, music publishing is this. There are two sides to the music world, 1) the label, 2) the publishing company. The label releases records, assists in tour funding (hopefully), and makes sure the CD/ MP3 etc is on the shelves. Publishing is more fun, and very different; you are responsible for collecting pub royalties, registering song titles with the appropriate societies (ASCAP, BMI), and most importantly, you're responsible for exploiting the copyrights. To the laymen, that last sentence means you get to listen and FEEL good music, and fit it in with TV shows, movies, commercials, you name it. It's a dream job. Think of Grey's Anatomy. Everytime you hear the Fray, someone pitched that to match the scene(s) perfectly. Speaking of Grey's Anatomy, back to Patrick Watson.

Superfrank and Foye gave me the task of getting their other clients' music off the ground and out into the public eye. At the time, Patrick's first record, "Just Another Ordinary Day" was just out, and we were putting it into record labels' hands. It was a task I was happy to take on. In addition to that, I was responsible for pitching the record for use in TV, Film, Advertising, etc. Again, shoes I was more than happy to fill. What happened from here on was unforgettable. I immersed myself so deeply into his music, that I could tell you what the chord changes were, and how long each song was. In other words, I was living his music. Then, "Close to Paradise" came out, his 2nd record, and I was speechless. I remember Foye and I sitting at our desks on speaker phone with Patrick, while he's at his apt in Montreal playing "The Great Escape" on piano and singing us the vocals. Both Foye and I were silent for the 4 minutes he played the song, and we knew it was "the one." I teared up, Foye did as well, and we looked at eachother and smiled. It was an absolutely amazing experience.

Bringing this entire post together...for those that have seen Grey's Anatomy, you've heard Patrick's music on 3 or 4 different occasions; one of them was "The Great Escape." This song became an absolute treasure. It was in the top 5 on itunes downloads, in 2 different movies, and countless television shows. Why do I love music? This is why. One random Thursday afternoon at Intrigue Music, listening to a new song by an as-of-yet unknown artist moved me like no other song I've ever heard. And then that song becomes a hit. It knocked me to the floor when I heard it live on speaker phone, and it still does today. You never know when "that" song is suddenly going to make it into your life, but you'll never forget it. You never forget where you were when you first heard it either, as it has it's own internal timestamp.

Patrick Watson is what music is truly meant to be: honest, truthful, and beautiful.

I found a cool montage of photos of Patrick with the tune behind it. Here you go:

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Fink: "This is the Thing"

Mellow delivery, cool guitar patterns, and an ABSOLUTELY AWESOME Video. I love this guy. He's a singer/songwriter (shout out to the previous post) from Brighton, just a hop, skip, and a jump from Guinness land on the neighboring island. Ladies and Gents, Fink (http://www.finkworld.co.uk/fink/).

He has four records out, all of which are released on Ninja Tune (www.ninjatune.com). He's most notably a DJ, rockin' clubs from Europe to the US on a regular basis, but he's a really solid songwriter as well. I love this track, "This is the Thing," off of his 3rd record, "Distance and Time," which was relesead in 2007.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Foy Vance : Ireland's Hidden Gem

"Singer/ songwriter" is now officially a genre within the iTunes store, which to folks that have followed the stylistic finger picking of guys like James Taylor, Nick Drake, Joni Mitchell, Ray Lamontagne, William Fitzsimmons, and Iron & Wine, this is huge. Folk music was a broadbased genre; something that encompassed the soothing sounds of acoustic guitars, 3 piece drum kits w/ 1 cymbal, and perhaps an upright bass. Drenched in accents from the East Village to the Southern US, and perhaps most comparable to country music, Folk music was the "history" section of our musical library, putting the talents of singers and songwriters into a genre based around a time period, as opposed to respecting that they were in fact very simplistic and individualistic in characterization. They were singers. They were songwriters. Now, respectively, they are classified as singers/ songwriters.

Perhaps the best singers/ songwriters that I've found in my search for the "perfect" blend of acoustic guitar, raspy vocals, and chill binding lyrics are from Ireland. From Damien Rice himself, to Glen Hansard ("Once," "The Frames", "The Swell Season") these guys know how to write songs, and more importantly, they know how to deliver them. Whether it's the lush Irish landscape, the comradery one experiences at the local pubs, or the emotional aftershock of the religious conflicts in the late '60s, these guys can sing and show unlimited inspiration to keep delivering great records and great songs.

I give you Foy Vance, from Bangor County, Northern Ireland. His record "Hope" came out in 2007 on Wurdamouth Records, and is easily one of my favorite singer/ songwriter records that I own to date. He knows suffering, he knows joy, and he knows how to deliver each one as if you are the one experiencing it. He's Ireland's "Bruce Springsteen" in a way. You always knew what Bruce was talking about. Foy is no different. He defines what it is to be a singer/ songwriter, and not a "folk" singer. This story is unique to himself, the first hand storyteller. He doesn't define history within his lyrics, he defines HIS history.

Below is a live performance of "Indiscriminate Act of Kindness," my favorite track on "Hope." In this song he shows what it truly means to help someone, and that no matter what state of mind one can be in, all we really need to do is help eachother and it is truly appreciated, even without a "Thank You."

"When you took your chances,
It was like you placed a bet.
And sometimes this is the reward you can get.
I was always taught,
If you see someone defiled,
You should look them in the eyes and smile,
And take their heart, no better still
Take them home, home, home."

Cheers.

Monday, February 1, 2010

The 2010 Grammy's & Stephanie Tanner




People ask me from time to time if I miss working in the music business. Yes and no. Yes, because I loved finding new artists, pitching their music for TV and Movie use, and loved the feeling of hearing "that" song; the one that ends up on the radio and on every episode of Grey's Anatomy. However, no, I don't miss working in music for one reason. People like Taylor Swift. Sure, she's a very talented songwriter and she NEEDS to mention on every occasion that she's "so happy" her label let her write all the songs on her record, but that's what music publishing is. She should be writing songs for other artists, because that performance at last nights Grammy's, with the iconic Stevie Nicks was embarassing. My cat can even hit those notes, simply from sneezing; upper respiratory issues and all (shout out to Miss Fat Booty, holla.) Stevie was looking at her, confused, but still offering to help carry the rest of the song, only to be drowned out by Swift's continuous melodic murdering of her bubble gum pop songs that should have simply stayed in the wrapper.

Which brings me to the epiphany I had last night. Taylor Swift is like Stephanie Tanner from Full House, and I HATED Stephanie Tanner. She was annoying, had HUGE bucked teeth, always bothered Uncle Jesse, and she never brought anything to the table except for constant whining and a prissy attitude. Now, Taylor Swift. Her performance and speeches are always (especially last night) super annoying. She's awkwardly tall, blonde, and skinny. Her teeth could stop traffic, and she just plain talks too much. In essence, Kanye West is like Danny Tanner. Kanye tried to shut Taylor up because she wasn't worthy of winning Best Video at the VMA's. Danny Tanner did his best to shut Stephanie up through powerful parenting, however she never listened. She just acted out and stormed around the house like she owned the place. The Staples Center last night w/ Swift....sound familiar?

John Stamos should play drums for Taylor, the Olsen Twins should sing backup, and Dave Coulier should bring his puppet, Mr. Woodchuck out on stage to do backup harmonies. That's basically how I felt after watching Taylor last night.

A few years ago Stephanie Tanner got caught smoking meth, and she wasn't even in the music biz. You see where this is going...watch out Swift.